If I meet with a husband who dropped the ball on a poor decision (not moral failure) but just a screwed up, I find it difficult to come down on this person because I have screwed up as well in areas. If the person is truly sorry and asks for forgiveness…I am not sure there is much more to talk about. I am the type of person to tell him/her “since you have recognized it…brush yourself off and move on now.”I then proceed to talk to the person on how life is going.
For a person to come and spill the beans on what secret areas of their life they have been struggling with…the last thing I feel I need to do is tell them why they are wrong. The Apostle Paul say’s “I boast of my weaknesses.” I will tell you that if a Christian comes to me and is willing to admit they struggle with porn, drugs, poor parenting, being a less than flattering spouse, etc. I consider this person to be a VERY mature Christian. In our weaknesses we are made strong. Sadly in our culture of Christianity we have made it where someone admits to a porn problem….we cut them off. WHY? I never did get this…chances are the pastor or counselor listening to this person has his/her own things to deal with as well.
“There but for the grace of God go, I.” We say this phrase often but do we mean it? I recognize the knuckle-head I am and praise God every day for his favor and grace. This is why I am a horrible counselor…people come to me expecting to hear one thing or come down hard on their spouse…their image in my eyes doesn’t change. I consider them mature for admitting a problem and now….move on and make the changes necessary to not do it again.