Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day 190: GOTCHA DAY! Adoption one year later

It has been one year exactly (Dec. 14th) since we finalized the adoption of our two children. I think I talked about what the process was like and how 2009 was basically a year I wrote off as going mental. Anytime you have 6 years with no kids in a great marriage and now all of a sudden you have 2 within 4 has a way of making you go crazy, happy, sad, excited, depressed, loving all in one! I honestly did not feel like a good human being until Lutheran Social Services validated my feelings. After all of that went away there were and continue to be great love for my kids. James is such a little man and we have a great relationship. Emma? She has her daddy wrapped around her finger for sure. Tracy and I have fully embraced being parents and enjoy it! I can't wait to see all of their excitement this Christmas!

Adoption was never ever something that showed up on my radar. I thought if we were meant to not have kids, so be it. Apparently God saw different as he sent the biological mom our way via Facebook. Now that we have adopted, it has been a great experience. To this day there are still two questions I believe you never ask adoptive parents.

1. When do you plan on having children of your own? I realize this may be asked in a non-hurtful way but it does hurt. First of all, the kids a person adopts are their own. I had one person who was once close to me at church tell me, "when you become real parents, you...." I got so fried with this person. When many couples adopt, you are taught that it is okay to mourn the part of your life you are giving up because you cannot (short of a miracle) have your own child. I think a husband might do better than the wife in this area because it is a built in instinct for all little girls to one day be pregnant. It hasn't happened for us. There was a time our church went through a baby boom and we were left wondering when it is going to happen for us. God saw fit for us to get our kids a different way but to this day I can tell when my wife is hurting emotionally from working with babies or seeing other ladies pregnant. That is when I just love her all the more. This leads to question number 2.

2. Couldn't you have children of your own? I had all kinds of answers ready in my head like...Sure, but it kinda seemed so ... 2008. You would get the ones that ask this in a superior kind of tone as they are pregnant and I often times wanted to respond with...Sure, but whenever I run into you, for some reason I think birth control. My favorite that I used once was, Yes, but God and I agreed that this isn't the right time for another Messiah.

We are thankful for our two beautiful kids and look forward to many happy years with them. It really makes you aware of just how many kids in the USA are just waiting to be adopted and loved on by families. In my own opinion I see no reason to look outside of the country to adopt when then need is SO great here in the U.S.

So, year one is done with our kids "officially ours". I am looking forward to seeing what God does with them and how he will continue to use us. Thanks to all of our friends and family who continue to support us with prayers and love.

1 comment:

  1. REAL PARENTS? You mean, kinda like how God isn't our "REAL" Father, since we're merely adopted?
    Can't wait to meet your two new kids. How awesome!